Game of Thrones Season 5, Episode 6: Nobody expects the Sparrow Inquisition (to produce any real evidence)

Abandon hope all ye who enter here:

THE BAD

  • If any non-book reader had been wondering why I hated the Sansa in the North storyline, the ending of this episode is your answer. The messed up thing is that I’m hoping it doesn’t actually get worse (given what happens to the character who marries Ramsey in the books). I would have much preferred Ramsey’s wedding being cut from the show altogether. Stannis would have marched on Winterfell regardless, and Sansa would still be in a position to claim the North from the relative safety of the Eyrie.
  • In fact, while the show goes out of its way trying to explain their Littlefinger’s reasoning for leaving Sansa with the Boltons, it still makes little sense. He is a man who would burn the world to rule over the ashes, and the best way to do that without burning himself, would have been staying in the famously impenetrable Eyrie. The North already doesn’t like Stannis or the Boltons, so a Stark appearing after a long winter of war would not need anything other than her name to reclaim the North.
  • The camera panning to Theon was almost subtle compared to other things the show has done, but while it spares you the visual, the emotional focus of the scene becomes Theon.
  • The scene where Sansa stands up to Myranda would have been great if it had followed any sort of agency-reclaiming character arc. Given the fact that it is rendered pointless a few minutes later, one might make the mistake of chalking it up to yet more bad writing. Sadly, this isn’t true.
  • It wasn’t bad, lazy writing. Along with Roose’s declaration that Sansa is now a woman grown, it is a carefully structured piece of evil. Bryan Cogman deliberately made those writing choices because he believes that Sansa was making a grown woman’s choice by walking into that room(his words).
  • Tyrion is going down a self-loathing spiral of alcoholic depression. In the books part of that has to do with his dwarfism but, in the show, his treatment by others as an object–a curiosity–is played off as a joke.
  • In HBO’s Game of Thrones, the darker your skin is, the more likely it is that you’re a pirate or a bodyguard. #wegetdiversity
  • The High Sparrow’s inquiry has zero evidence to hold Loras. A birthmark being treated as a “Gotcha!” moment is ridiculous. Loras’ reaction to it is the most in-character he’s been yet, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise because a screaming attack is the only thing that might distract an audience long enough to convince them that this makes any sense.
  • Even if we buy into the fact that the High Sparrow is willing to put the heir of one of Westeros’ most powerful houses on trial with flimsy evidence (since he is a fanatic and they’re not known for being reasonable), arresting the QUEEN for lying, without having any proof she is actually lying makes no sense, and only happened because Margaery is arrested in the books and they have a list of plot points they need to check.
  • The Sand Snakes continue to be terrible and them reaching Myrcella at the exact same time that Jaime and Bronn do is so contrived it makes my head hurt. They could have chased each other in a circle around Myrcella while the Benny Hill music played and it would have been just as wacky.

This post is brought to you with help from the lovely Nikki who saved us all from the typos. 

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