Frustrated and grim, Ichabod Crane doesn’t believe in the saying ‘all work and no play make Crane a very dull boy’. Of course he is a very complex man, so his distaste in the game could be a cloud of moody deception there to hide the fact that he doesn’t know who Cher is. After all, this is the sore loser that tried to equate Pinocchio to George Washington.
Fortunately for him, Abbie has a good head on her shoulders and realizes that the Apocalypse is going to start a lot sooner if they don’t take a break and re-group. Unlike Ichabod she not only knows that they have limits, but to admit when they have reached them. Or to put it differently, Ichabod is the student that has completed their revision but keeps on studying through the night and Abbie is the one that gets some damn rest and actually doesn’t look like the living dead when it’s time to sit the exam.
All fun and games are interrupted, well Ichabod’s complaints are interrupted anyway, when Katrina uses a mirror to declare her mission as failed. Which is a bit of an understatement. Also, the moment we see Katrina talking through the mirror I know there’s going to be trouble. Nothing says monitored call like phoning form your captor’s house.
Sure enough, Henry listens in not only to the conversation that happened between Katrina and the witnesses, but now that the mirror pathway into the archives is open he can also see into Abbie and Ichabod’s future plans.
Jenny is spiriting Irving away, and it only takes a grumpy reminder by Irving that Jenny shouldn’t text and drive for me to know I could happily watch an entire show where they’re on a fugitive roadtrip evading the fuzz and making out.
In what is essentially a very short scene between the two of them, we get an amazing amount of characterization. Frank knows the world is a terrible terrible place and he’s resigned himself to his fate. He will fight until he can’t, because a man can’t run forever if he has no place to go ad Irving no longer believes in safe havens. Jenny on the other hand has enough hope for the both of them, she believes they can save him. Hope is what drives Jenny. She has to believe there is still a place that is safe from the evil of this world.
Meanwhile, the two witnesses figure out the message in Grace’s journal. The latest piece of history sacrificed in the fight against Moloch is the infamous ‘Join or Die’ comic of a snake. Which is of course really a clue that points towards a map that points to the sword which has a point that can be used to defeat Moloch the pointy demon. Eyes aglow with the possibilities of searching for hidden treasure, Ichabod waxes poetic about the perils they might face. Abbie just sighs and points out that even lunch between the two of them is fraught with peril.
The location of the sword comes with a warning. One must know themselves completely, or die. This leads to a lovely moment for Abbie, who has been struggling with her role as a witness and her supposed destiny this entire time. Abbie has a legacy, she comes from a long line of strong women and she finally feels more at home with the fact that the duty to protect the world has fallen to her.
They set off to find the sword with an optimism that clearly showed that unlike the audience they had no idea that Henry was spying on them. He sends Abraham after them, who doesn’t seem happy with the situation since the sun will soon be up, but has to follow orders anyway. Katrina tries to stop him and fails, in the process revealing that Abraham sees her as a treasure to be possessed and that she definitely made the right choice going with Ichabod.
Abbie finds out that Reyes is setting up checkpoints and warns Jenny just in time. Irving jumps out of the moving car and promises to meet up with her on another part of the road. She was the only one who believed he could make it to Canada and that he’d be safe, so it can’t be a good thing that they got separated.
Abbie recognizes the place where the sword is hidden from the dreams involving her mother. She barely has enough time to have her own bonafide Ichabod ‘I visited this place centuries ago’ Crane moment, before Abraham appears with an axe, a horse and no head. As is the case with every single scene that was shot after The Fellowship of the Ring and includes a rider searching for people that are trying to crouch out of sight, our heroes look like hobbits about to make a run for Buckleberry Ferry.
Not having seen them behind the thick cover of a few branches, Abraham moves forward to retrieve the sword. In an unprecedented turn of events, it’s Ichabod holding Abbie back and telling her they should be patient. She ignores him and follows after Abraham like a tiny, vengeful angel with a gun.
She sees Abraham knock something that looked very much like an X that should mark the spot, but in fact didn’t. However, she makes enough noise for Abraham to notice her and Ichabod who has until now stayed back, springs into action… By literally using himself as a red flag and yelling. Ah, young love.
Apparently this move was slightly more calculated than it appears at first glance. The sun rises and Abraham is burned either by its rays or Ichabod’s verbal taunt. ‘Goodmorning, sunshine’, indeed. We have a weather application to thank for this.
In a flashback, we see that Ichabod and Abraham were friends even before America. It was actually Abraham who urged him to come. Because of this, Ichabod believes his life has been a journey leading up to this point and I personally want to smack him over the head with his own self-absorption. Here I was thinking that Abbie had the strongest connection to the place and the artifact, given the fact it was her ancestors that led them to it.
Ichabod believes that Abraham is responsible for him being there, while Abbie points out that he acted and decided to come. This is one of the fundamental differences between them. Ichabod is a man who believes in the power of ideas and Abbie a woman that puts far more stock in how a person’s actions define them.
More flashbacks reveal how well and truly Ichabod stabbed Abraham in the back when it came to Katrina and while I don’t think Abraham is anything other than an evil guy who views Katrina as an object that was stolen, his anger at the betrayal is merited. However, no one tries to speak up about what a good guy he might be away from Moloch, because they didn’t give birth to him and therefore he deserves to face the consequences of his actions unlike other people linked to the idea of family.
Abraham had knocked over a sign that depicted a snake eating its own tale, otherwise known as Ouroboros (pronounced with a v not a b like on the show, and meaning literally one that eats its tale). It’s code for looking for things the other way around and we find the entrance to the cave of sword(s).
Abbie is startled by what appears to be a very lifelike stone statue… Waaaait a minute! Holy crap is this Medusa? They run out of there fast as a bullet and Ichabod states it’s a Gorgon, but then gets a little too excited about the historical implications of all those stone bodies and forgets that one of them is Abbie’s ancestor.
Abbie rightfully explodes at him because of this callous academic approach to the people that died underground trying to help save humanity. She is overcome by the sinking feeling that she is next in line of the proud, strong, promising young women in her family that gave their lives for this cause.
Just as they realize they may have to face themselves and therefore their greatest weaknesses and fears, Abbie comes up with a way to bypass the problem. While it is risky, it is nowhere near as bad as some of Ichabod’s more reckless plans and so they wait for Abraham to come and kill the Gorgon for them.
My greatest fears have come true and Irving is nowhere to be found at his and Jenny’s meeting point. He calls in to say that he’s not planning on running but staying behind and facing the music. Speaking of music, Henry has a weird looking horn instrument that will literally signal the apocalypse and Katrina is coming to terms with the fact that her son is an evil piece of work, by being passive aggressive like any proper mother would.
Feeling like an eloquent MacGyver Ichabod fashions torches out of his socks and proudly shows them to Abbie who just pulls out her 100% sock free flares and rolls her eyes until Abraham shows up and they lead him down the hole to kill the Gorgon.
When they finally get to the sword room of this underground nightmare, Abbie comes face to face with a whole bunch of swords surrounding a stone basin, and her own Indiana Jones dilemma. Ichabod goes out to fight Abraham, who in a fit of even more toxic masculinity decided to duel with him instead of just killing him when he had the chance. Moloch should fire him.
When Abbie finally just decides to grab a sword at random, we see them all turn to snakes, in what I’m hoping is another nod to Indy. Ichabod storms in, closely followed by Abraham, whose face Abbie sees for the first time because this place reveals your true self. He laughs at their inability to find the sword and at the sound of a horn that means Moloch has risen and then leaves.
Apparently the sword was actually inside the stone basin filled with oil they had to burn away together using the power of soulmates(Join or Die!) instead of sticking their hand in and pulling it out. The person who pulls the sword out is Ichabod and not Abbie, because the writers want to annoy me.
I mean, the person that actually knows how to use the sword should probably be the one to use it, but I would have loved to see Abbie pull it out and hold it triumphantly because it was her ancestors who died so we could get to this moment, and this entire episode is about her coming to terms with being chosen.
As usual the last shot is of a cackling Henry, who in this instance has started the apocalypse a few horsemen short.
Abbie Mills is Queen moment of the week: ‘Maybe we don’t have to [face our fears]. Maybe someone can face them for us.’ All Rise for My Slytherin Empress.